Dr. Maya Okafor, LMFT
Founder & lead therapist
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with 15 years in practice. Trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Method Level 3. Writes the "Ask Maya" column.
Our story
We started with a kitchen-table question.
In 2018, therapist Maya Okafor kept hearing the same thing from clients: "Why didn't anyone teach us this sooner?" Tend began as a Sunday email to 40 friends. Today it reaches 48,000 readers a week.
Advice that respects your intelligence
Relationship content online tends to swing between fairy tales and ultimatums. We wanted something in the middle: honest, specific and rooted in decades of research from people like John and Julie Gottman, Sue Johnson and Esther Perel.
Everything we publish is written or reviewed by someone with clinical training. We don't do "10 signs he's cheating." We do the slower, more useful work of helping people understand themselves and each other.
Curiosity over blame
Most conflict makes sense once you understand what's underneath.
Small and steady
Lasting change comes from tiny daily habits, not grand gestures.
Every kind of love
Affirming of all identities, structures and stages of life.
Safety first
We'll always name abuse clearly and point to the right help.
The team
The people behind the advice
Daniel Reyes, MA
Couples coach
Certified Gottman Seven Principles educator and former high school counselor. Specializes in conflict, blended families and couples in their first five years.
Priya Shah, MSW
Dating & individual coach
Social worker turned dating coach, focused on attachment, breakup recovery and helping singles date with intention instead of anxiety.
Not sure where to start?
Tell us a little about what's going on. We'll point you to the right article, coach or outside resource.